How to lose weight in six days!
Funnyman Cyrus Sahukar shares some foolproof tried and tested alternate solutions to lose weight. A word of caution though: Try them at your own risk!
Monday: Ask your lover to randomly dump you. It is a known fact that heartbreak kills appetite. If you could just request your lover to kindly cheat on you. If she concurs, it's a straight 6000 calorie burner. PS: Hair loss, heart burn and panic attacks are not our problem.
Tuesday: Help the BMC. Only when you decide to give back is when you lose. Chose a location, dig a pothole, scatter garbage everywhere. Also kindly note, mark your location once it's repaired, (as the competition's tough on this one), and then, a year later, just go ahead and dig it again. 650 calories drowned right there.
Wednesday: Randomly chase parking cars. This sudden-urgent-sprinting technique has worked successfully for street dogs. How many unfit street dogs have you seen? Huh?
Thursday: Declare a row-with-everyone day! Today's your day to randomly pick a fight with everyone! Call all ex-lovers and tell them they were the worst sex you ever had. Tell your boss all his great ideas are bulls**t and everyone in the office he wears a toupee. Delete people from your Facebook friends list and ring them up to tell them so. Go to a screening of a new movie and have loud conversations with an imaginary friend. This will enable you to run at high speeds or leave you hospitalised for a month. Both ways it's more effective than any sauna slimming belt.
Friday: Come home. Lock all windows and doors, then watch a series of horror films. They're known to shoot up your heart and metabolic rates. And if you're the screaming, shrieking variety, then throw in another 200 calories.
Saturday: Eat yourself into a food coma at least six times a day. Think butter chicken, dal makhani, pasta carbonara with extra cheese, that amazing beef burger with a large portion of refried fries. It is a well-known fact that almost 300 calories are used to digest a heavy meal. The more you eat, the more you burn — so eat away my friends. Bon appetit!
Funnyman Cyrus Sahukar shares some foolproof tried and tested alternate solutions to lose weight. A word of caution though: Try them at your own risk!
Monday: Ask your lover to randomly dump you. It is a known fact that heartbreak kills appetite. If you could just request your lover to kindly cheat on you. If she concurs, it's a straight 6000 calorie burner. PS: Hair loss, heart burn and panic attacks are not our problem.
Tuesday: Help the BMC. Only when you decide to give back is when you lose. Chose a location, dig a pothole, scatter garbage everywhere. Also kindly note, mark your location once it's repaired, (as the competition's tough on this one), and then, a year later, just go ahead and dig it again. 650 calories drowned right there.
Wednesday: Randomly chase parking cars. This sudden-urgent-sprinting technique has worked successfully for street dogs. How many unfit street dogs have you seen? Huh?
Thursday: Declare a row-with-everyone day! Today's your day to randomly pick a fight with everyone! Call all ex-lovers and tell them they were the worst sex you ever had. Tell your boss all his great ideas are bulls**t and everyone in the office he wears a toupee. Delete people from your Facebook friends list and ring them up to tell them so. Go to a screening of a new movie and have loud conversations with an imaginary friend. This will enable you to run at high speeds or leave you hospitalised for a month. Both ways it's more effective than any sauna slimming belt.
Friday: Come home. Lock all windows and doors, then watch a series of horror films. They're known to shoot up your heart and metabolic rates. And if you're the screaming, shrieking variety, then throw in another 200 calories.
Saturday: Eat yourself into a food coma at least six times a day. Think butter chicken, dal makhani, pasta carbonara with extra cheese, that amazing beef burger with a large portion of refried fries. It is a well-known fact that almost 300 calories are used to digest a heavy meal. The more you eat, the more you burn — so eat away my friends. Bon appetit!
No comments:
Post a Comment