Friday, July 29, 2011

How to lose weight in six days!

How to lose weight in six days!


Funnyman Cyrus Sahukar shares some foolproof tried and tested alternate solutions to lose weight. A word of caution though: Try them at your own risk!

Monday: Ask your lover to randomly dump you. It is a known fact that heartbreak kills appetite. If you could just request your lover to kindly cheat on you. If she concurs, it's a straight 6000 calorie burner. PS: Hair loss, heart burn and panic attacks are not our problem.

Tuesday: Help the BMC. Only when you decide to give back is when you lose. Chose a location, dig a pothole, scatter garbage everywhere. Also kindly note, mark your location once it's repaired, (as the competition's tough on this one), and then, a year later, just go ahead and dig it again. 650 calories drowned right there.

Wednesday: Randomly chase parking cars. This sudden-urgent-sprinting technique has worked successfully for street dogs. How many unfit street dogs have you seen? Huh?

Thursday: Declare a row-with-everyone day! Today's your day to randomly pick a fight with everyone! Call all ex-lovers and tell them they were the worst sex you ever had. Tell your boss all his great ideas are bulls**t and everyone in the office he wears a toupee. Delete people from your Facebook friends list and ring them up to tell them so. Go to a screening of a new movie and have loud conversations with an imaginary friend. This will enable you to run at high speeds or leave you hospitalised for a month. Both ways it's more effective than any sauna slimming belt.

Friday: Come home. Lock all windows and doors, then watch a series of horror films. They're known to shoot up your heart and metabolic rates. And if you're the screaming, shrieking variety, then throw in another 200 calories.

Saturday: Eat yourself into a food coma at least six times a day. Think butter chicken, dal makhani, pasta carbonara with extra cheese, that amazing beef burger with a large portion of refried fries. It is a well-known fact that almost 300 calories are used to digest a heavy meal. The more you eat, the more you burn — so eat away my friends. Bon appetit!

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