Film Industry: My wife and my audience, both took time to understand me

My wife and my audience, both took time to understand me - Emraan Hashmi

My wife and my audience, both took time to understand me

Emraan Hashmi, 34, contrary to what one would imagine, is an English film buff. While he may expectedly dance on a Sufi song with Altaf Raja in his upcoming film Ghanchakkar, in reality, he is a Michael Jackson fan. He is deceptive, mysterious, egoistic, but simple. He opens up to Bombay Times about why he would not change himself for others, how he stalked his wife for three years and why Mahesh Bhatt will always hold a special place in his life. Excerpts:
Your grandmother Purnima Verma has acted in over 100 films. Did she influence your decision of becoming an actor? Bhatt sahab always says she was the first star in our family. His mother and my grandmother were real sisters and both were actresses. And so, my grandmom probably secretly yearned for me to become an actor. My grandfather (whose surname was Hashmi) was a journalist, who separated from her and went away to Pakistan during partition. Though my grandmother re-married, my stepgrandfather died and she never had kids from that marriage. My father worked for the cargo division of Air India and my mother for a multinational, and they are both retired now. My dad went and met him, my grandfather, once in 1994 in Pakistan before he died, without telling him that he was coming. My grandmom was wealthy and originally owned the famous Ketnav theatre, which, at that time, was a bungalow where she lived with her second sister. She had a lot of money and my dad tells me that she owned a Buick and several other big cars. She was not financially savvy and had to auction her house, due to poor paperwork. She is suffering from Alzheimer’s right now, but till three years back, when she could recollect things, she was extremely particular about my money transactions. She put into my father and me the need to be careful with financial paperwork, as she lost her house due to lack of the same. My grandmom and her unmarried sister were outside the house and saw their furniture and things from their cupboard being auctioned. Pali Hill at that time had only bungalows, but she shifted into the flat, we live in now, from the money she got by auctioning her bungalow. She was soulmates with her sister who lived with us till two years back, when she died. I was extremely attached to her.
Let’s talk about your grandaunt? She was extremely strong, good with money and we all took advice from her including Mukeshji (Mukesh Bhatt). She was dominating like a prefect and I got my discipline from both my grandmoms. I had four mothers — my two dadis, my mother and Mohit Suri’s mother (who died when I was in Class VIII, but lived with us). After my grandaunt died, my grandmom’s Alzheimer’s deteriorated. It took a while for her to come to terms with it. I was shooting for Jannat 2 when I came to know from my father that she had died. Bhatt sahab came to the hospital and wanted to make sure that my grandmom got closure about her sister having died, as he knew she would not be able to take it. She broke down and I got her back home and did not even go for the funeral, as I was concerned about her and thought she would not be able to take it. She kept taking her name. I went into the other room and burst out crying ,as I did not want anyone to see me like that. And now she has even lost her motor skills. I guess she has no memory and so, is in bliss. But it is extremely painful for us to see her like that.
How did you get into films? I was really never interested in studies and was hot-headed and rebellious in college, as I was totally confused and insecure but was not coming to terms with it. Rahul Bhatt, Mohit Suri and a whole bunch of us would just hang out at Pali Hill looking at these fast cars with blaring music and were extremely naughty kids. I knew that I could use my innocent looks to get away with murder. Mukeshji was close to my grandmom and would often come home and tell her, ‘Yeh kya khada rehta hai aapke nukkad pe, dukan ke paas, doston ke saath.’ He told her to send me and that’s the first time I went to Bhatt sahab’s house. He gave me a lecture on becoming clear and I didn’t understand half the things he was saying, but I started assisting Vikram Bhatt. I was a lazy assistant and hated going and calling actors from vans and had a big ego. Mohit would do that, I wouldn’t. Bhatt sahab saw that and felt I could be an actor and nudged me to become one. I joined acting classes but midway got an offer to act in Yeh Zindagi Ka Safar. But, I messed up so badly that I was thrown out. It became a sort of ego issue for me and I continued going on the set to see what I needed to do to become an actor. My grandmom was more realistic and knew that I neither looked like an actor nor could dance nor had passion for Hindi films, so she was happy with me taking up second or third lead roles for me to at least make money. But I was clear that I needed to do something substantial and could not be just another name on the credit list. I remember I refused to dub for my first film Footpath. This assistant told me, ‘Bachchan ki tarah dub karo.’ I said f*** off and showed him the middle finger as I didn’t want to be like anyone else. Finally, Vikram Bhatt had to dub in my place as the film had to be released.
Did the tag of the ‘serial kisser’ affect you? Too much is made out of sex and kisses in our country. I do edgy dark cinema and, possibly, the industry as well as the media negate those films, as they are not used to seeing films which are not action, comedy or romance. They felt that he doesn’t even look like a hero, kiss karta hai, so they panned me. But I don’t give a damn about what people say and am never apologetic about what I do. If someone pulls me down, I pull them down as I don’t feel I should live my life in the way other people want me to. If they have a problem with my films, I can rip off their films, be it comedy or their family dramas, which are low on content and have over theatrical acting. Just like they think that I am too subtle and a one note actor, I think they scream their lungs off on screen. The industry wanted me to change, but I would not change. I am clear cut and cool-headed and will not waiver on that. I am a bit difficult to be around sometimes. I can be stubborn on a lot of things and I’m set, but can also adapt in a conflict situation and don’t hold onto an ego. I end up seeing the larger good and adapt to it, provided it benefits me. I may come across as a cold person, but am extremely sentimental. I know that I get hurt easily, so I put on that stern front.
There are a few actors known to come on time. But you are a stickler for not only coming, but leaving on time. Is that true? I am a bit rigid about time. I have realised that a fairly large chunk of the actors in the industry, feel that coming late makes them bigger stars. I won’t extend my time by even an hour, as I expect others to respect my time just as I respect theirs. And now that people know this about me, the amount of over efficiency I see, is amazing. A six-hour scene will get over in three hours, where, on the other hand, if you give them even 12 hours for the same thing, it will still not be done.
How did you meet your wife Parveen? I met her in college through friends. She was the only woman I stalked. I would even call up her house and she would tell her mom to tell me that she was not at home. If a woman would not like me, I would step away and would not pursue her after that, but with my wife I chased her for three years. I come across as a brash and egoistic person, but you need to scratch the surface to know me and that takes time. She took her time and realised that I am dependable and sorted. It took her a couple of years, just like it took the audience to scratch the surface off. I am not good at first or second impressions and you have to spend some time with me to know me. Also, I don’t want to put my best foot forward and prove something, as that is not me. I would rather be me and have you like me for who I am, instead of being someone else. She is shy and I love her for her simplicity and vulnerability. Both of us are stern, but not rude. Both of us stick to our guns and it is generally I who will relent, if there is a difference.
What is the role of Bhatt sahab in your life? He sorted my life and steered it in a direction, at a time when I was totally confused. He has called me all kinds of cusswords in front of other people from the industry, but he is the only one I would let get away with that, as I feel he has the right to. What he has given me is priceless. While I don’t want to be dependent on anyone, I know, at the back of my mind, that he is my guru who I can call whenever I need to.