Listening is a vital part of two-way dialogue as celebs and psychotherapists reveal

Lend me thy ears!

Listening is a vital part of two-way dialogue as celebs and psychotherapists reveal

"To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation," said French author Francois de La Rochefoucauld. And while it is true that listening to others is an art, it would appear that most people are too busy listening to their own voices and thoughts to be able to truly pay attention to what the other person is saying. Hairstylist and businesswoman Colleen Khan might well echo Ernest Hemingway's opinion that one learns a great deal from listening. "My job entails that I do a great deal of listening," laughs Colleen. When clients come in for a haircut or makeover they love to chatter about their families, their personal problems, the vacations they've taken to Colleen. "They get a sounding board and a haircut as well," says the hair savant who confesses that she sometimes feels like a shrink. "Yet all that listening has taught me a lot about life and inculcated empathy within my psyche which has helped in the course of life."Fashion designer Lina Tipnis tells her employees to treat her office as a second home. "Employees in general spend so many hours in their offices that they need to have a sense of belonging," says, Lina who feels that a family feeling is inculcated by the art of listening. Personally speaking, she can't tolerate people who aren't good listeners. "Such people are not on my list, they don't belong to my world," says the lady who feels that the ability to listen to the other person out comes from someone who is aware that dialogue is not just about themselves. Lina advises learning meditation as a good way to inculcate the habit of listening. Psychotherapist Varkha Chulani says that hearing people is completely different from listening to them. "Listening involves the elements of paying attention, comprehending what the other person is saying. Most people are so busy conducting an inner monologue that they are not able to direct their attention to listening to the other person." Adds Varkha, "Listening makes the other person feel accepted and important and that is vital to the dialogue and rapport process. Involvement in other people's lives is minimal nowadays and hence personal bonds often fall by the wayside. We have to direct our emotional energy to people in order for the social fabric not to fall apart. Listening is a vital part of this." She also adds, "We ought to direct our internal attention to what the other person is saying. We should show a genuine interest in the other person and realise that one has to eliminate the extraneous from one's life. This will help not only us. but also the people around us feel and live better."